// the take
A joke repo built around an old Russian forum anecdote about a sysadmin who automated every annoying task, including lying to his boss and wife. The actual content is the same four gag scripts (fake out-of-office excuses, a bogus client-DB rollback, a coffee machine trigger) reimplemented in 20+ languages by community PRs. It's for a laugh and a nostalgia scroll, not for running anything.
Decent as a quick Rosetta Stone for trivial scripting idioms: the same small program (env vars, an HTTP/Twilio call, IMAP keyword scan, cron wiring) sits side by side in Ruby, Go, Python, Java, Kotlin, PowerShell, Clojure, Scala and more, which is genuinely useful if you want to see how a language handles basic SMS/email/socket calls. Each script is single-file and short enough to read in a minute with no framework to learn first.
None of this is production code: credentials go straight into env vars with no secrets management, and the Gmail scripts use plain username/password IMAP login, which Google killed off years ago for anything but legacy app passwords. The core premise of kumar-asshole.sh — SSH into a client's server and roll back their staging DB because an email contained the word 'sorry' — is a bad idea dressed up as a joke; nobody should copy that pattern. Dead since October 2023 with 20+ untested, non-CI'd reimplementations, so there's no guarantee the newer-language ports even run, and no one's checking.
We read the README, the directory tree and a key source file in October 2026. Nobody pays to be listed. How we judge →